A 10 Step Guide on How to be Me:
1. First of all, throw away every item of clothing that you own, start from scratch, it will just be easier that way.
2. Make of list of every unconventional phase one could have and explore each phase twice (think: growing armpit hair/Annie Hall or French Japanese).
3. Spend way more time trying to figure out how to get out of work than it would take to actually do the work.
4. Perfect manipulation, it will pay off in a big way.
5. It's always about you, don't ever get confused about that.
6. Shorten every word you can, if it’s already shortened, add a, “y” or an, “sies” (i.e. "Duhsies" or "WORK DRINKSIES!")
7. Get over things, before you get into them, if possible.
8. Be drunk as much as humanly possible – don’t EVER question this one.
9. Be nice to people’s faces, it makes them feel important and funny.
10. ALWAYS compliment things you hate, it draws attention to them and makes other people notice how ugly they are too.
1. First of all, throw away every item of clothing that you own, start from scratch, it will just be easier that way.
2. Make of list of every unconventional phase one could have and explore each phase twice (think: growing armpit hair/Annie Hall or French Japanese).
3. Spend way more time trying to figure out how to get out of work than it would take to actually do the work.
4. Perfect manipulation, it will pay off in a big way.
5. It's always about you, don't ever get confused about that.
6. Shorten every word you can, if it’s already shortened, add a, “y” or an, “sies” (i.e. "Duhsies" or "WORK DRINKSIES!")
7. Get over things, before you get into them, if possible.
8. Be drunk as much as humanly possible – don’t EVER question this one.
9. Be nice to people’s faces, it makes them feel important and funny.
10. ALWAYS compliment things you hate, it draws attention to them and makes other people notice how ugly they are too.
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3 comments:
Duh!
Duhduhduhduhduh.
This sounds quite similar to my rules, with the exception of "get rid of all of the clothes you own"--I tend to hoard those even more. Divide them into genres and acquire oodles of accessories to make ancient items appear more relevant. Thus far, I think it might be working. And if there were an 11th item, it would be to procrastinate doing all of the things I "should" do, whilst reasoning it out, instead of paying attention to all of the reason why I should do something. Love your blogs. Always brings a smile. Thanks chickie!
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